When needs become our wants and wants become our needs.

So, I need a house and by some miraculous events, even in this bad economy and my credit score, I get one! My need has been fulfilled. Yippy!

Opps, now I need a lawn mower to cut the grass. So, I go to the hardware store to fill that need, but once there I find lots and lots off different kinds of mowers to chose from with lots and lots of different prices…. But, I want a mower with auto-drive wheels and is self mulching so I can save time and energy not working on the lawn. Great! I got one that does it all, sure, it cost me more, but think of the savings in time I’ve created! 

Oops, now I need some shrubbery to make the front of the house look good. Same story; lots of different kinds, prices, etc…. but I want the ones that make my place look good! Course they're the most expensive ones, but I buy them anyways.

Oops, now I have to spend lots of time and energy planting and caring for my new plants, plus cutting the lawn, keeping the mower full of gas and in good working order, etc, etc….Oh, well.

During all this time, energy, and money I’ve been spending on my miracle house, there’s a young boy living in a urban community of poverty right here in the city I live in. His parents are a mess; they can’t keep food on the table or a roof over their families’ head. The neighbors are all in the same shape, poor of finances and of spirit. He is too young to see that he too doesn’t have to live that same future. He’s to young, to even understand that what he needs is the chance to see the world in a different light. He knows there is some kind of empty feeling inside him but he can’t figure out what it is.

I know what he needs, and it isn’t just a new house, mower or gorgeous shrubbery, it’s the chance to feel accepted and cared about. But what can I do about it? I’ve got troubles of my own! Doesn’t he understand how much time it takes me to pray for ways to make money so that I can have all my own wants and needs met?!

Feeling guilty? I am!

Simple Times Farm

http://www.simpletimesfarm.com/

CHAMPS is designed to inspire inner-city children to love a purposeful and significant life.

Organized around practical skills, foundational character, and love for God, this camp provides children with a chance for change.

Days are invested in riding, agricultural science, working with animals and gardening.  Our staff are selected specifically for their passion for young people. Whether you are sending your own child, or sponsoring a deserving youth, it is hard to imagine a better investment.

If you want to help fund CHAMP, please follow this link; http://www.simpletimesfarm.com/store/630 or come out and visit the farm!

Maybe I can cut back on what I spend on shrubberies so I can sponsor just one of these kids. Shoot, I hate working on the lawn anyways.

Simple Times Farm does not sponsor this blog; I have just used it as and example of one of the many organizations available for us to help fulfill the NEEDS of the children within our community.

The Way You Should Life: Discover better ways to create closer relationships, better health, increase wealth and learn tips on becoming the best person we can be. We will give detailed examples on how you can start living the life you always wanted, NOW.

Mr. William Grey

Just Stay

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused.

Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her, "Who was that man?" he asked.

The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.

"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."

"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed. I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His Son was killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him. What was this Gentleman's Name? "

The nurse with tears in her eyes answered, "Mr. William Grey........."

The Way You Should Life: Discover better ways to create closer relationships, better health, increase wealth and learn tips on becoming the best person we can be. We will give detailed examples on how you can start living the life you always wanted, NOW.

Spotlight on Raspberries Rhythm Cafe & Bar

It's been a vision of owner David Berry for 15 years. A nice place where you can go for relaxing conversation, good food and relaxing, yet sometimes heart-pumping, jazz and blues! (Photo: Stuart Bauer | The Flint Journal)

The DJ is playing some “Cool” jazz from his booth at the back of the room. Smiles, laughs, and sounds of conversations come from the booths and tables that fill the dimly light, yet sparkling clean Raspberry Rhythm Café and Bar.

Suddenly, there’s a man load voice at the bar. You can’t make out what he’s said but you can hear the agitation in his voice as it has disrupted your enjoyment of the club’s atmosphere. Within moments a stern, squared shouldered man walks from behind the kitchen counter and strides up to the man.

I couldn’t hear the conversation between the two but in the short time I’ve known Dave Berry, I can imagine what was said.

Dave, lifting a hand onto the man’s shoulder, looking him straight into his eyes; “You have to leave.”

Man, stunned, stammers: “But Dave, you know me. I didn’t mean nothing!”

Dave, softens his voice. “You have to leave, either I call you a cab or one of your friends needs to drive you home.”

Man, “But, Dave….”

Dave, “No buts, you’re leaving. I don’t want you disrupting my customers and I don’t want you getting yourself in trouble.”

Man, “But Dave, I haven’t had that much to drink!?”

Dave, removes his hand off the man muscular arm, and places both his hand onto his hips. “How’s it going to be?”

Man, “ahh, Dave. Okay, I’ll get my friend to drive me home.”

No trouble here.

FLINT, Michigan -- It's been a vision of owner David Berry for 15 years. A nice place where you can go for relaxing conversation, good food and relaxing, yet sometimes heart-pumping, jazz and blues!

• What: Raspberries Rhythm Cafe & Bar.

• Where: 448 S. Saginaw St. in downtown Flint.

• Hours: 5 p.m.-2 a.m. Thursdays through Sundays.

• Contact: (810) 766-9446.


The Way You Should Life: Discover better ways to create closer relationships, better health, increase wealth and learn tips on becoming the best person we can be. We will give detailed examples on how you can start living the life you always wanted, NOW.

WHAT HAPPENED!

In the not so distant past, as a boy, snow meant money! On days like today in Flint, Michigan with the 2--4 inches of light powdery snow, it meant easy money! Back in the day I would get a buddy and we’d grab our snow shovels and each take one side of the street knocking on doors with the hopes of finding someone to pay us 5 bucks to shovel out their driveway. Then together, we’d shovel them out. Some of our best customers were, widows, older retired men and sometime working men that appreciated our entrepreneurship or were just to lazy to do it themselves.

After doing three of four driveways, we would go off to the corner drugstore to purchase a soda-pop, a candy bar and the ever precious, comic book! Dare Devil was my favorite. For a time I even owned it’s first edition. That was until years later when my mother was cleaning out the attic, and inadvertently threw it away. I still love my mom, but it’s been hard to forgive her for her ignorance in discarding a piece of history!

However, comic books and snow shoveling is not the point of this writing, it’s about the lost of entrepreneurship within our young people. It is self-evident to all parents, single parent of not, that having a child that actively finds a way to self-employ themselves creates feelings of accomplishment, self-confidence and teaches them the value of money.

Are you actively encouraging, or even demanding, your child to find ways to fill their free time productively? I am not saying they need a full time job. I think that education should be a fulltime job for young folks. Yet, as a parent, are you looking at ways to help build character in your child. Think about it. 

The Way You Should Life: Discover better ways to create closer relationships, better health, increase wealth and learn tips on becoming the best person we can be. We will give detailed examples on how you can start living the life you always wanted, NOW.

Trouble, right here in (Flint) River City!

After sitting, listening and questioning many of our Flint area schoolteachers, I have come to this conclusion. Teachers want to go back to the old days where they did what they were “created” to do: TEACH!

Problems of the near past: School Administrators, Principles, and “Specialty” teachers have been, for the most part (Not all!) made-up of persons that are poor teachers! These folks, in the old days, once within the school system, were moved into these positions due to their inept, classroom-teaching abilities. Shocking! Not at all, once you take into consideration a Union that protects Teacher’s employment rights to the point of inhibiting good administrators’ ability to remove talentless teachers. (Unions are meant to help the people AND the SYSTEM they represent!)

Today:

Inept administrators insolate their inability to make correct management decisions by surrounding themselves (Nepotism) with personal allies that cover their butts and confuse the line of blame for poor decision-making. Many of those folks have secured outrageously high pay-packages. (See Flint area school superintendent Linda Thompson and her addition of twenty-some underlings.)

Principles: (again, not all!) Find themselves worn out, burned out and just willing to let the needed, tough decision on discipline of students, of teachers, and yes, even parents to go unaddressed by just placating everyone. Due in no small part to their being placed, in a position that needs more talent and skills than even a classroom teacher has!

“Specialty” Teachers: (again, not all!) as our school system takes in more and more “Troubled” students (More on this later) teachers are leaning more and more on those “Specialty” teachers. These “Troubled” students need special one on one (or small group) attention. These students are so far behind the others in the classroom that their lower skill level detracts from the education of others. Consequently, they’re sent off to “Specialty” teachers. Here’s the report on many of those “Specialty” teachers. For so long “Poor” teachers have infiltrated, “Specialty” teachers, that now classroom teachers are screaming that some of these (federally funded) crappy “Specialty” teachers are not doing their job! Surprise!

Want to hear the inside scoop? Not only are those crummy “Specialty” teachers holding their jobs because of the Unions, but also because they’ve become the allies of the School’s Principle. That’s right! Did you know that most schools in Flint, no longer have Vice-Principles? (yet, the schools’ superintendant has added jobs to her administration!) Who does the Vice-Principles day to day job? The “Specialty” teachers! So now, you have inept, protected, one-time classroom teachers, that are even more inept as “Specialty” teachers, helping an inept school Principle and not doing their designated job! Happy days! And you wondered what’s wrong with our schools.

Troubled Students: Today’s teachers long for the old days when a “Troubled” student meant a kid that was a bit rebellious, maybe even bored in the classroom due to their higher abilities or creative method of thinking. Calling a kid “Troubled” in our schools today is like calling Kadhafi a “Troubled” Dictator!

Today’s “Troubled” students are children living through the most awful environment of both nurture and nature! Let me just list a few of the problems these “Troubled” students live with: poverty, sexual abuse, drug addicted parents, mentally ill parents that should be on drugs, neighborhood gun battles, dead bodies found on their street, homelessness, murdered relatives, gang involvement, hiding in the bathtub as shots are fired into their homes, and the constant moving from one school district to another. I can’t go on, no wonder they’re “Troubled”, it breaks my heart to list just a few of these reasons, but every teacher in our city schools’ hear and live with these heart-wrenching stories, EVERYDAY!

Should I end this with some positive notes? I can. There are, for the most part, good and caring School Administrators, Principles and Specialty Teachers in our City, but they’re feeling overwhelmed. How would you feel if you had to work in this kind of environment that just a few “Troubled” people have created? Wouldn’t you quit?

I use to laugh at Mrs. Clinton’s idea that “It takes a Village.” Not anymore. We each have to get personally involved and fix things, it's not just about your own children, it’s about all our children. Let’s help our “True” teachers do what they were “created” to do. TEACH!

Stop by and read next week’s Blog/article, where I lay out the solutions to all of Flint’s problems in a column entitled “SuperFlintEnomics”

The Way You Should Life: Discover better ways to create closer relationships, better health, increase wealth and learn tips on becoming the best person we can be. We will give detailed examples on how you can start living the life you always wanted, NOW.

Tracey Gilmour Whelpley of “The Lunch Studio” restaurant.

The very first place I sat down for lunch in downtown, Flint after having spent 26 years out of state, was at The Lunch Studio. I loved the decor and atmosphere and was very glad to find they served a pork sandwich (They have veggy foods too) very similar to the Cuba Sandwich which I love, called a Midnight. My asking if they could add and subtract a few items in recreating my favorite sandwich, received an excited, positive, “YUP.”

As I sat and enjoyed the sandwich while I took in the all the artwork and do dads within the room, I could not help but overhear a group of young man at the table next to me. Their conversation was full of excitement about how they might put together a social organization that would help low-income folks with getting home mortgages, and education on personal budgeting and finance. (This was the formation of the group then call “PLUTO” which later enfolded into the Genesee Regional Chamber of Commerce as their Young Professionals Committee, GRYP) I introduced myself to the group and we formed a friendship. (I love these guys.)

Here’s my point; from the very first moment I arrived in my old hometown and walked through downtown, Flint, I could feel the place was full of vibrate energy and opportunity. I decided to relocate in downtown. The very first place I interacted (The Lunch Studio) was also full of that same enthusiasm and optimism.

It wasn’t till later that I got to meet the lady behind the counter, Tracey Gilmour Whelpley. That’s when I discovered that her small restaurant that was so full of enthusiasm and optimism was an extension of her own personality.

You may only know Tracey as the quiet woman who lovingly makes each of our sandwiches, but in real life, she’s a superhero in downtown, Flint. Behind the scenes, she’s an intricate piece to countless fundraiser for our community. She gives her time, money and yes, even the food we enjoy at many of the community social function/fundraisers.

It would be enough that downtown, Flint has a great restaurant and meeting place, but having one owned by a person of such grace and compassion for this city is amazing!

I want to personally thank you Tracey, for all you’ve done for me and my wife, and I want to corporately thank you from the whole of the City, for 10 years of community service. Congratulation, keep up the good work!

The Way You Should Life: Discover better ways to create closer relationships, better health, increase wealth and learn tips on becoming the best person we can be. We will give detailed reporting on how you can start living the life you always wanted, NOW.

What Chicks talk about...and talk... and talk....

My wife had “The Girls” Wednesday night meeting at our home last night. I holed up in my “Man Cave” aka “Prayer Room.” Although my cave was a distance for where the girls gathered I could still hear the din of their voices and the crescendo of their laughter and giggles. It was a good sound. It felt good knowing that the women where having a fun time together away from their normal day-to-day routine.

After they toured our home and chitchatted, I could feel the house quieting down as they hunkered down within the living room. (Okay, so maybe woman don’t “hunker down” maybe it’s better to say they settled down and nested. Okay so maybe I shouldn’t use the word “nested” either, it sounds so male chauvinistic, let's just say, they all sat down.) Because of the distance from my “Man Cave” and my television being tuned to the baseball game, I could just make out snippets of conversation.  Seems like every sentence that I could make out started with…. “Then he said….” (inaudible) followed by group LAUGHTER! Or “Then he did this….(inaudible) followed by group LAUGHTER. I couldn’t identify any of the voices that started each of these sentences, but there was a multiple of them, all seemingly telling stories about the men in their lives. Now, my interpretation of these snippets of conversation as being about the male relationships in their lives may come from my own male paranoia, but I strongly believe that they were talking about us guys.  This, I then conclude, that our women find us men, amusing. Understand this, I don’t think the girls were making fun of us or putting us down, they just like to talk about us. What was especially endearing, was the times the sentences started out with the same…. Then he said this, or then he did this…followed by the voices of the other women…. “That’s so sweet”, and Ohs and ahs.

Men, here is something we might need to think about; the woman are watching us and sharing their experiences with other women. This could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how we treat our spouse or girlfriend, but, the main point is, that woman listen to other woman about their relationships and gauge their own relationships by the action, words and deeds of the men in other woman’s lives.

As the, lets call them, more experienced woman, told the stories of their relationship with men, both the good and the bad, the other ladies’ are thinking over the character of the man and judging if that is how they want their own “Man” to be like. Especial the younger girls, they listen intently to the stories and the reactions from the other women. To me this means these younger girls are building a resume of wants, can live with, and can’t live without qualities they will be looking for within the men they meet and date.

What does this revelation mean to us men? (Guess it’s not a revelation, cause its been the same way since Eve was passing-on her “Adam” stories to her daughters.) Maybe, our treatment of women is a real life reflection of our “Heart” for God. Maybe, a man’s true “Heart” for God can be gauged on our “Heart” for the women in our lives. We men are always saying that we’re striving to be like Jesus, but do we treat our own wife or girlfriend in a way that reflects that?

Ladies, have I even come close to being right on this subject or are you just shaking your heads, sighing a little laugh because I’ve given you another “Man” story! : )

Well, Ladies and Gentleman, no mater what you think about my thoughts written here, I will be retiring to my “Prayer” cave……okay, so it is a “Man” cave….and think more about how I treat my wife and the other women God has brought into my life.  Crap, this could take a long, long time. Wonder what time the ball game starts. 

The Way You Should Life: Discover better ways to create closer relationships, better health, increase wealth and learn tips on becoming the best person we can be. We will give detailed examples on how you can start living the life you always wanted, NOW.

This I believe..

Walter White - New York, New York

The more I have thought about what I believe, the more certain have I become that it is what I have been taught to believe. I have been blessed with great teachers. The first and greatest of them were my mother and father.

As Negroes of quite modest means in an often hostile environment in Georgia, they were buffeted from both sides because their skins were of such color, they could have lived on either side of the racial fence. Through thrift and hard work, they had provided for us children a modest but immaculate and attractive home. But neither envy nor hostility of poor whites or poor Negroes ever caused them to deviate one fragment of an inch from the stern code of ethical behavior they had established for themselves and their children.

The second body of teachers were the idealistic, courageous men and women who had given up better and safer jobs in the North to teach in southern missionary schools like Atlanta University, from which my five sisters, my brother, and I graduated. Theirs, too, was a stern moral code. Both my parents and they were devoted to the principle that comprise is not only evil, but in the long run does not pay.

I am totally and irrevocably convinced that in personal behavior, political life, and other areas of human activities, the seeds of decay begin to sprout the minute a man or a nation begins to consider surrender of moral principle to attain a given end, however moral and desirable that goal may be. Naturally, I have been assailed countless times for being an all-or-nothing person. I am proud to plead guilty to that charge.

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A second article of faith to which I cling is that love of one’s fellow human beings can conquer whatever obstacles he faces. In traveling more than two million miles in all parts of the world during the past 30 years, I have seen again and again what misery and degradation of the human spirit hate has brought to mankind. Its corrosive effect on the human mind and spirit, which has found expression in war, religious bigotry, and racial schisms, has been so appalling as to convince me that the codes of behavior given us by men like Jesus and Gandhi offer the only hope of our survival.

Therefore, I believe that no human being should ever be judged on the basis of race, creed, sex, religion, economic status, or place of birth. To measure any man, or to accept or reject him as friend by any other standard than his individual worth, is to deny oneself the vast benefits which come from knowing fellow human beings as fellow human beings. My own life has been immeasurably enriched by knowing people, both famous and obscure, all over the world.

Finally, I believe it is imperative that we recapture that passion for human equality and justice, which inspired the early Christians to create a world of ethical behavior to replace barbarism.

Walter White was executive secretary of the NAACP from 1931 to 1955. As a writer and activist, he lobbied for federal anti-lynching laws and desegregation of the United States armed forces. Although fair-skinned with blond hair and blue eyes, White considered himself an African-American.

If you enjoyed this essay, please take a moment and support This I Believe, Inc., the non-profit organization that made it possible. We have and hope you will too. Rex Studio. Flint, Mich.

The Way You Should Life: Discover better ways to create closer relationships, better health, increase wealth and learn tips on becoming the best person we can be. We will give detailed examples on how you can start living the life you always wanted, NOW.